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Is Atlanta Really the Black Lesbian Mecca?

Monifah and Terez, Atlanta's most famous lesbian couple, recently married in Hawaii.

Monifah and Terez, Atlanta’s most famous lesbian couple, recently married in Hawaii. Photo: Gayweddings.com

So, one of my dreams is to move to the countryside where I can have some fresh air, peace, quiet and a nice little garden. From time to time I’ve toyed with the idea of moving to the South—Atlanta specifically. A while back there were several articles touting a great re-migration of blacks from northern urban areas to the South. Supposedly moving to the South afforded people of all colors a lower cost of living, better quality of life and better weather. I had one old journalism school buddy who was born and raised in Maryland who swore Atlanta was the holy grail of all the aforementioned things. She is also a black lesbian, and I believe for her, that made Atlanta, the so-called center of the gay South, even more enticing.

But after reading this blog post by LezIntellect, who says she’s having a hard time finding the kind of woman she would even date in Atlanta, I don’t know about the ATL anymore. She lists the five types of women she’s encountered while trying to date in Atlanta:

  1. The obese masculine chicks
  2. The flat chested middle school looking Lil Wayne wannabes
  3. The ratchet hoodrat with tattoos everyday place
  4. The good-looking chick with a shit load of issues
  5. The good-looking chick with a shit load of KIDS

She is also not the first person I’ve heard say this about dating in the queer capital of the dirty South. I’ve also visited Atlanta for business and family trips and haven’t been all that impressed by the vibe. The ATL may have been good to Monifah and Terez, the city’s most famous lesbian couple, but maybe I should reconsider. I’m gonna give it another shot as I’m planning to go to Atlanta Black Pride, which takes place over the Labor Day weekend.

New York Has The Most Queer People of Color

In the mean time, I need some backup places to consider. From time to time I’ve seen different websites and magazines list some of the most gay friendly cities But what I’ve found is that many of these places are majority white, which I have nothing against. I just don’t like living in places where one culture dominates. I love diversity and I prefer to live in areas where there is a greater chance of meeting another black lesbian. According to the Advocate magazine, Washington, D.C., tops the list as the gayest city in the country. (The list also includes lily white cities like Salt Lake City, Utah and Madison, Wisconsin. Although if more queer people of color moved there, it would definitely get more diverse. Reverse gentrification? Hmmm. Something to think about!) However, a 2012 Gallup poll finds New York as the number one city for African American LGBT individuals (106K NY residents are black) followed by Michigan, Alabama, New Jersey, Maryland and Mississippi. D.C. barely makes the list at number 10 and with 22,800 black LGBT people. Anyway, the disparity between the Advocate‘s list and the Gallup poll is clear—black LGBT people do not necessarily live where white LGBT people live. Black LGBT people live where black non-LGBT people live and Census results back this up too.

Anyway black lesbians, where do y’all live and do you like living there? Take this poll below and if your city/state isn’t represented, rep your city/state below in the comment section so we can all move there right quick. Thanks 🙂

Join the discussion

  1. MJ

    My comment is on types of women. I’d just like to say that I can agree to some point on these five types of women. Yes, there are big studs, but also I think you have to realize that these studs grow old and we end up staying short and metabolism slowing down. Just because we are big doesn’t mean we aren’t capable of being loved or loving someone. I’m happily married. Dating since 2002 and married since 2011. The lil Wayne want a be studs I can understand you not wanting a kid. Some of these ladies are older and have tats but know how to dress to cover them up for work and handle they business. What about all the weave wearing no clothes wearing femmes. Femmes have become so fake anymore you wake up looking at a bald chic with fake lashes and a different face after the make up is gone

    • Love Lab Editor

      MJ you’re absolutely correct! There are as many different types of lesbians as there are people. We all have our preferences, but I know LezIntellect was simply expressing how frustrating it was for her to find the type of woman she was interested in in Atlanta. Depending on where you live, the options can be even more limited. Congrats on your marriage. Perhaps you’ll share your story with us one day 🙂

  2. Michelle

    I would love to add to that list. I lived in Atlanta for 7 years before moving to the DMV.

    6. Superficial women who have nothing to talk about but themselves and what they have
    7. The lack of desire to do ANYTHING social outside of a strip club.
    8. Lack of conscious conversation or focus on real social issues.
    9. A concentration of closeted religious lesbians who have an enormous amount of internalized homophobia and an inability to integrate their faith and sexuality.
    10. A lack of emotional maturity
    11. The ability to ONLY see the Stud/Femme dynamic.
    12. Tons of trans phobic people within the LBGTQ community.

    I was so glad to leave that place.. My brain was dying..

    • Love Lab Editor

      Thanks for joining the conversation Michelle. I guess ATL is not the lesbian promised land for some people 🙂 You’ve brought up some thought-provoking points that I think would make for some interesting articles in the future. I don’t know if some of the issues brought up are geography-specific, but it may be fun to compile a list of what different LGBT-friendly regions have to offer lesbians.

    • Sharone Brown

      Michelle that list could also be applied to other cities. I realize now how challenging it is to have a deep thought provoking conversation with a femme woman of interest. I am fresh out of a situation and desire to be mentally and intellectually stimulated and have not had many encounters: I am patient! Where are the non weave, non glittered and decorated finger nail wearing and sexy, yet classy femmes in Chicago? I have been out the loop for a while…..

  3. Dontrella

    LMAO love this article I lived in Atlanta for 9 years before moving back home to Chicago

    • Dez

      Does Chicago have more to choose from? I’ve been trying to decide between San Fran/Oakland, DC, and chicago. Chicago seems to have the most attractive black lesbians, but this is only based on the dating sites I’ve seen.

      • Love Lab Editor

        I wish I knew the answer! I live in DC and there are quite a lot of us here 🙂

        • Dez

          Yeah, I noticed DC had a lot of lesbians, but the femmes seemed to only go for studs. Where are the fem4fem hotspots in DC? I’m planning to visit soon. 🙂

          • Love Lab Editor

            I’m sorry I don’t know much about places where the crowd caters more to the femme-femme connection. I really believe you can find a romantic connection anywhere. Anyway, I’ve always been more successful on line. Sadly there just aren’t that many strictly lesbian spots in D.C. You can try Phase 1 and 2 but I stopped going because I found too many young, bicurious college girl types there. But it’s been two years. Things may have changed. Lace was okay back in the day, but last time I went the crowd was hmmm not appealing. Anyway check out phatgirlchic.com for black, lesbian events. Good luck. Let us know how it goes 🙂

  4. Hajirah

    Finally a piece well thought out. Atlanta is so spread out the community aspect gets lost. You know the 6 people you know. And the need never goes paa that thought. For Gay men this is a Disney land of black gay life (no serious relationship please).But for women its still treated like a one time at band camp story. They not living that life! Michelle. .well added list.

  5. Pingback: Is Atlanta Really the Black Lesbian Mecca? | Black Models USA Inc

  6. Lez Chat

    This is definitely some eye candy in Hot-Lanta. If any of them want to move to Las Vegas. I’m on facebook, youtube, etc. Love your website, btw.

  7. K Deevs

    Thanks for this article. I am looking for a diverse place to move where I can feel a sense of community. I dont want to live in a large city but dont want to live in a Podunk town either. Ive lived several places and I’m currently living in Austin tx. Very liberal and white. Gentrified like no other. So I’m trying to figure out where I go next. Ive got family in ATL and I would never live there. The descriptions above of black lesbians there are 100% accurate. I went to Chicago but probably was in the wrong part of town because black lesbians were not around. Ladies, its time for us to start our own community of conscious, caring, intelligent, positive, black lesbians. I think thats our only option. If anybody has any other ideas all help is appreciated.

  8. Mona

    I live in a very small town which is 2 1/2 hours from Chicago. When I visit Chicago I would like to go somewhere other than the club to meet a women. I plan on going to Black Pride. Any ideas?

    • Black Lesbian Love Lab

      Hey Mona. It all depends on what you’re into. I’m not from Chicago so I really don’t know. I recommend going to our Facebook page (www.facebook.com/blacklezlovelab) and posting your question. Good luck sis 💜

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