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Girl Bye (Breaking Up)

The Only Reason You’ll Ever Need to Leave Your Relationship

Written by Bre Ukweli

Listen my black lesbian queens. Don’t stay in relationships that you’re not happy in. Regardless of why you’re not happy, leave. There’s a difference between being upset and being unhappy. Upset can be fixed. Upset can be apologized for.


Unhappy eats at your very being. It causes you to say things and feel things you’re not used to saying and feeling.


Eventually you become numb. Nothing feels good. Nothing tastes right. Floating through life because you’re tired and you’re not sleeping because you’re thinking about how unhappy you are until the sun comes up.


You lose yourself in the waves of resentment. Mad, because you’re unhappy and she’s not helping by being around, by talking, by breathing.


You lose the light that you had been holding on to for so long because you’d held it in your hand so tight and choked it in order to fill the reservoirs that had been overtaken by the darkness.


It’s not worth it.

It’s not worth the moments you have questioning yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your partner on the other side unaware and incapable. Relationships fail all the time. Leave. You are more important.


Bre  is a 24-year-old gender-fluid person living in South Florida. She is a shade connoisseur hopelessly chasing skylines, sunsets and social justice.

IMAGE: Duke Virginia is the model & photographer

Article written by:

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She is a proud u-hauler who loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking for her awesome partner and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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