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About Our Love

A Meditation on Romance and Partnership and Love

Written by Vanessa Rochelle Lewis
It’s not about whether I love you or not.
Does the way I love you feel good to you?
Does the way I love you help make the difficult parts of life feel easier to navigate?
Does the way I love you set you free?

Does the way I love you facilitate or expedite your healing?
Does the way I love you help you grow in a direction that you respect?
Does the way I love you nurture those wounds you been striving to tend on your own?
Does the way I love you inspire your creativity?
Does the way I love you bring about ease, peace, and abundance?
Does the way I love you create enough space for you to have your own autonomy and plenty of love time with yourself and others?

Does the way I love you make you float a little when we’re not together?
Does the way I love you support you in feeling safe enough to be vulnerable and courageous with me?
Does the way I love you feel good even when times are hard?
Does the way I love you hold space for you to know you can make mistakes and resolutions?
Does the way I love you feel resilient and sustainable?
Does the way I love you feed your erotic and sensual desires?
Does the way I love you inspire whimsy and tenderness?
Does the way I love you help you to imagine y/our future with hope and excitement?

Does the way that I love you provide new opportunities and experiences?
Does the way I love you leave your friends/loved ones congratulatory and happy for you?
Does the way I love allow you to be your full, authentic, and evolving self?
Does the way I love you create space for disagreement and healthy conflict?
Does the way I love you hold space for the nuance of honesty?
Does the way I love leave you feeling loved in the way you want to feel loved?
Does the way I love you look like making adjustments when things aren’t serving both of us?
Does the way I love you honor your dignity, heritage, identity, and self-respect?

Does the way that I love you aide you in being in the sort of relationship you want to be in?
Because I can love you and you can love me all day and night long, but if our love aint doing that….or if we can’t get it to do that….then it might not be a love that’s serving us.


Pictured: Vanessa and her best friend Ifasina TaMeicka L. Clear
Photo by Carey Lynne and Sophie Spinelle

Article written by:

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She is a proud u-hauler who loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking for her awesome partner and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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