People ask me all the time how and where to meet the woman of their dreams. The answer is not an easy one. Honestly, there is no secret to meeting someone with whom you can form a lasting connection. However, after combing through my archives of couples I’ve interviewed, I’ve come up with this list of places that they have found love:
- Through a dating site. While online dating can be painful and painstaking, it can be worth it. It’s also perfect for homebodies like myself. I met pretty much all of my girlfriends on line. It worked for Nikki and Amena, Myeshia and Beth, Leia and Irene, and Kai Brown and her boo, “Slang.”
- At work. While some people may frown on meeting at work, as long as the person is not your superior, it can work out well. Many of us spend a significant amount of time at work. The work environment can be challenging and is a good place to observe how people react to stressful situations. It worked for Ephesia and Tamerisk, Brenda and Kim, Brittney and Glory and Marlena and Lakeshia.
- At the club. Who says you can’t find love in the club? Most people who end up at the club are looking for a fun evening with friends. There’s nothing sexier than a woman cutting loose on the dance floor. It worked for Rose and Wendy.
- Through friends. We love our friends and they know us best so why not let them set us up? It worked for Tianna and Charmagne, Stephanie and Regina, LaShay and Bakari, Shaun and Jamese and Jenara and Kena.
- By doing something you love to do. Whatever it is that you’re passionate about whether it is nature, partying, activism, church, sports or reading, there is guaranteed to be another lesbian who likes the same thing. When you are doing something you love, you are often at your best, which tends to make you oh so desirable. It worked for Sonny and Jazzie, Fayth and Meg and Yvonne and Nina and Alexis and Brittany who met while they protested Mike Brown’s unjust killing in Ferguson, Missouri.
- By doing something you don’t want to do. Trying something new takes you out of your element and introduces you to new people and new ways of thinking. So be open to new experiences even if the activity is not something you would usually do. It worked for me. I’m not really into religion so I wasn’t particularly interested in going to my friend’s Buddhist gathering. I even tried to cancel at the last minute. I went against my will and ended up locking eyes with an amazing woman across the room.
- Through social media. People tend to seek friendships and engage in great conversations on Facebook and even Twitter. It is generally pretty easy to tell what she is into by the things she likes, shares and the conversations she has. It worked for Gracie and Rosanna.
- At School. Sometimes school is the best place to meet someone. You are generally growing and dedicated to accomplishing an end goal. So, even if you have been out of school for years, take a class and learn something new. You never know who you’ll meet while doing that. It worked for Sinjoyla and Angelisa, Keyshia and Kierra and Vanessa and Jasmine.
- Join an LGBT Meet Up group or organization. If you’re not around gay people it can be difficult to meet potential mates. So put yourself in a situation where you can meet friends or potential dates with like-minded people. While I haven’t seriously dated anyone through these avenues, I did have a ball this summer meeting and flirting with women at pride events and in my queer women’s Meet Up group.
- By accident. Even after you put all that effort into meeting and mating, it’s the time when you are not trying at all that you’ll meet her. So relax, live your life and do you. It worked for Tracey and Renisha.
The point of this post is simply to let you know that love is all around you. Just look around, be open, patient and sincere.