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[VIDEO] Should You Trust Your Girlfriend Around Her Ex?

Why are so many black lesbians uncomfortable with their partners maintaining contact with their exes?

I hear it on social media all the time! We’ve even had a couple of posts on the blog about how to deal with our exes! Black lesbians complain that it is disrespectful to keep up with the ex and that you can’t create a new future if you keep hanging on to your past.

But is that true though?

I used to agree that it was disrespectful, but now I’m starting to see things differently. There was a time when I felt very uncomfortable with my partner maintaining her connection with her ex.

To be honest, I think I was worried about the universe bringing them back together. After all, they were soul mates. But even relationships with soul mates don’t always last. My relationship with my soul mate didn’t last.

Do You Have Feelings for Your Ex?

two black women sitting on coach together

I believe that most of us still have feelings for our exes.

And I still have feelings for my ex. However, what I feel for my ex though has nothing to do with romance.

I’ve written before that I’m not friends with my exes, but it doesn’t mean that I still don’t care about them.

If we don’t, then we probably never loved them, or the bond wasn’t very powerful. I think it is normal and okay to still care for someone you used to love.

Stop Throwing People Away!

I think one of the most tragic things happening in the black lesbian community is this belief that we should throw people away just because they no longer serve our sexual or romantic interests. How sad is that?

And then we get very upset that our partners had a history before us because it means that they are NOT 110 percent focused on us. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I think it’s a sad thing.

Check out the video where we discuss ways to avoid ex drama.

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She is a proud u-hauler who loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking for her awesome partner and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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