Written by Tiana Lopez
Before I was your girlfriend
I was your ally
I fought for your right to be with someone
Never knowing that someone would be me
I didn’t come out
Just came into you–into your sweet flesh
Into the knowing,
Into my confidence,
Into your honesty,
The ally within me –rushed to your defense,
Brown armed and Black willed
Rainbow flags and synchronized chants of
I can’t —tell them.
That my petals might have fallen in his bed
but they bloomed on your couch.
That you are the secret.
You are the political event
My revolution and the
absolution to the nagging
that you are not a
But more a hymn
A holy song of refuge that is interrupted with
“HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT AN AFRICAN TRADITION”
(We read that and still made out in my kitchen)
You spread across my African America in shades of black and blue
same as bruises–we knew this
was the risk of being honest
You told me you’re not into gay politics–they get messy and
DON’T WE HAVE ENOUGH BEING BLACK WOMEN IN AMERICA
We don’t need more bullets in our backs
More degrading raps
made about us because it’s always cute
when it’s girl on girl but
when they are fragile play things
not playwrights who orchestrate the script of
their own identity.
It’s cute when it’s a threesome with a
bi-racial and bi-sexual you get everything
and nothing at all
There are mixed women receiving
mixed messages who struggle with
what is accepted and
ARE WE GOING TO BE ONE OF THEM?
You tell me that you will only wave a rainbow flag
when it has a thick black stripe
because don’t we have to fight
for our own space in anything?
I learned that there was a difference between
and ally and advocate and activist
Before I was your girlfriend I was your ally
and I would lie on the muddy carpet of your basement
while you dared me to kiss you
and be an ally to myself.
Tiana Lopez, 22, will be graduating from college in May 2016. Yayyyy! She writes to bring healing, connection and understanding to people. Her favorite subjects are her life experiences and social issues, and she loves reimagining other literary works apotheke-zag.de/. You can find her at www.CandorCreatives.com.