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Love Stories & Weddings

Amena and Nikki: There Were 48 People Involved in Their Engagement

Amena and Nikki were engaged on March 22, 2014.

Amena and Nikki were engaged on March 22, 2014.

Amena was pretty much done looking for love when Nikki came, unexpectedly, into her life. Two years after their first meeting, this Maryland couple is happily planning their fall 2015 wedding. The couple shared their story over dinner at their Maryland home:

Black Lesbian Love Lab (BL3): Why did you decide to get married?

Nikki: It was almost instinctive. I took her last December to the jewelry store to find out her taste. I got the ring later on when I was with my sister.

Amena: When Nikki and I went to the jewelry store over Christmas, I rolled my eyes all the way to the back of head. I just didn’t think it would happen anytime before my birthday in June or our second anniversary in September.

Nikki: One day I kept driving past the jewelry store with my sister. I started interviewing myself. When a person influences you to change your life for the better … that’s how I knew Amena stands out from the others.

Amena: I often say that marriage was always more important to Nikki than me. Before we got engaged, Nikki would always say she wanted her family to validate our relationship because I think she’s gotten the message that these were the only kinds of relationships that her family values.

BL3: Tell us how the actual engagement went down.

Amena: Nikki asked me to put some pictures on her website when I came across a picture of two rings in her [folder]. A couple days later, the pictures were still there so I copied it and sent it to my friends because I knew she would ask their opinions before buying it. I still didn’t think it would happen when it did on March 22. My friend Jamillah came to town for brunch at Busboys and Poets [a Washington, D.C., restaurant] on a Saturday at 11. She wanted to go to the one all the way downtown when there’s one nearby.

When we sat down to breakfast, I felt this presence over my shoulder. I looked up and saw Nikki. She gives me a nervous kiss and I was wondering why she was there because she’s crashing girls’ day. She’s normally good about that. She got a chair and I’m wondering what is going on. Then Nikki pulls the ring box out of her pocket. And I’m like, is this really for real? Nikki slides the box over to me. She tried to get on one knee and I said, “Don’t do that because people were looking.” My friend finally asked if I’m going to say something. I said, “Yes!” My friend then jumps up and leaves. I then started texting people to tell them, “Hey, I just got engaged.” But nobody was saying anything. It turns out Nikki told 48 people about the engagement. Some people wouldn’t give it up until the very end. Apparently Nikki was supposed to have proposed at 3 p.m. but she couldn’t wait and did it at 1 p.m. People have this idea that I’m nosy.

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Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She is a proud u-hauler who loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking for her awesome partner and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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