Celebrating black lesbian love and relationships!

Are You With Her for Love or Convenience?

WakingUpLovelyLogoEveryone knows that in today’s economy two incomes are better than one, so living with a partner is now the norm. When the topic of cohabitating came up between my partner and I, it was an easy decision to make. It didn’t make sense for me to be paying rent in a place that I was not staying. I literally was at her house every night. So we did it. I broke my lease and moved right in.

When I told my girls what I was doing, they were like, “Great! What are the arrangements?” I told them that everything would be split down the middle. A silence came over our lunch table. They asked, “Why? If she is already managing the rent herself, why are you paying half? I mean I can see paying a couple bills but why half?” Then the last comment was killer: “Shout out to the red flag.” I thought to myself, a red flag? How could that be a red flag? If someone was to move in with me, I would expect her to pay half of the rent. So why would I not expect the same because moved into someone else’s home? I told my friends that they had straight mindset, and they said, “No, it’s a dom and femme thing too.” (Side bar: My partner does not identify as dom but her characteristics are very dominate.) My friend’s point was to have me question if this move-in plan was for love or convenience.

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She loves black love and loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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