Celebrating black lesbian love and relationships!

Are You With Her for Love or Convenience?

Image courtesy of justcurious.co.za

Image courtesy of justcurious.co.za

Was it love for me? Normally, I am a woman of convenience. I’m not saying that I moved in with everyone I dated, but I knew that in some way, shape or form that I would benefit from the person I was dating at that time. I love cheap rent and extra money in my pocket, but after my last relationship I needed love and that’s it. My ex kept money in my pocket and let me hold my own money but the torture of being with her was not worth the price of my sanity. So with my current partner, I moved in for love … abso-freakin-lutely! This was the first time I moved in with someone and didn’t think about what I would be saving and how it would benefit me. This was the first time I moved in with someone and thought of forever and not a temporary fix. Yes, it’s a big love for me. Now for my partner, I would like to say it was love for her. We both didn’t need each other; instead we were two independent people making a decision for love.

It is hard to find someone who genuinely wants you and does not need you. I mean really wants you, like when there is not a fee attached to everything, when things are brought from the heart and not thrown in your face. A relationship should not feel like a business partnership, it should be fluid and every time you turn around, the conversation should not be about money. There are so many people out there in a bind and trying to find a way out. I have heard of women staying in relationships until Christmas or until after their birthday just so they can benefit off the goods. DO NOT WASTE THAT PERSON’S TIME AND MONEY. I understand why people do it, but it isn’t fair to the other party in your relationship and karma is a bitch. Karma will wait until you really love someone and then turn all your stuff upside down because you did it to someone else. Just be mindful of how you get into relationship. Make sure it is for all the right reasons and not the wrong ones.

Be Luvly!


Luvly Jones is the oldest of three, daughter of a Christian pastor and enjoys writing poetry and short stories. After dating a plethora of women, resulting in many life lessons she now shares her life with the woman she believes is “the one.” In this space she shares her journey of awareness, love, conflicts and getting through a relationship without getting arrested.

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She loves black love and loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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