Written by Zamara Perri
Way back in the day when Brittney Griner and Glory Johnson were dating, we all swooned. They were so cute and in love and most of us didn’t know of any other black lesbian celebrities who were out and proud. That passionate, love story and 20-second marriage, ended up costing Brittney big time.
The two fell head over heels in love and proceeded to get married despite all the major warning signs. (Getting arrested weeks before your wedding for domestic violence is normally one major clue to slow down). Don’t judge them. We’ve all done crazy things for love. We have wanted something or someone so much that we ignored everything that we know is wrong with the scenario.
Had either of them thought with their heads, they would have signed a lovely little document called a pre-nuptial agreement.
Pre-nups stipulates who should get what and how much in the event that the relationship ends. Brittney and Glory are both businesswomen with a brand and a career that should be earning them a healthy living. To have to give some of that away to lawyers because they didn’t sign a prenuptial agreement is a silly mistake.
I don’t blame Glory for trying to get what she could. If she and Brittney agreed that Glory would get pregnant right away and then Brittney changed her mind, it doesn’t matter, the babies came anyway. Glory’s life as a basketball player drastically changed. (And please don’t say Walmart is always hiring.) Why should her standard of living change because Brittney finally saw the light and decided to get the hell out of there? They are both doing what’s best for them each because they are no longer a couple, and that’s what sane people who are no longer blinded by love do—look out for their own best interests.
Black Lesbian Couples Are Just Like Straight People
We are no different than straight people. And we are no different than famous lesbians. Brittney and Glory may only make a little bit more money than the average black lesbian (it is the WNBA after all where these ladies make far less than those in the NBA), but we need to be just as careful.
How many of us quickly move someone into our homes without talking about who is going to pay the bills? Or how many of us move in repeatedly with a different partner without thinking about how that impacts our finances in the long term? Or how many of us play captain save-a-hoe where we take on the responsibility of someone else’s children without question because we have a big heart?
Or what about the woman who does not earn a full-time living but relies on you to pay for everything because you love taking care of your boo? I’m giving you the side eye my dominant, tomboi, stud and masculine of center sistas.
How long are you going to be okay carrying all the bills while a grown ass woman with no disabilities does nothing to ease your combined financial burdens? It’s not going to be cute for very long.
And for my femme sistas who love being a kept woman, please be real. There are some studs who really love protecting and providing, but that generally comes with strings. Nothing in this world is free.
And for the stud who is with a woman who works but you pay for everything and she lets you, think hard about that. Is it really appealing to have a woman who can’t help out your family if need be? Or to have someone who expects you to pay all the bills while she banks her entire check? What are you really getting out of that situation? The sex can’t be that damn good.
And it’s not just about making sure that you’re both making the same amount of money. The fact is …
If a grown woman is not financially independent or at least grinding every day, then she is not ready for a relationship.