Story by LezIntellect/Diary of a Black Lesbian
I’ve been thrown a curve ball in life. It’s something that I never saw coming. Perhaps it is some type of cruel poetic justice for my racist views and hatred. It’s also probably the MAIN reason I took such a harsh tone with my brother about his family.
I have fallen in love with a white woman … and it’s killing me on the inside!
Anyway, for the purpose of this blog and all future blogs this woman will be nicknamed Sapphire.
That day Sapphire and I started a conversation. That conversation led to an exchange of phone numbers. The exchange of phone number led to several late night conversations. Those conversations eventually led to dates. Those dates led to a kiss that took place Sunday. And now here I am … feeling some kind of way because I feel some kind of way about this woman.
I’m a hypocrite.
Part of the reason I blasted my brother is because he married a white woman. I was also blasting myself internally for falling for one. I’ve tried to justify my feelings for this woman by telling myself, “Well she’s not an American white woman. She is a Canadian….” which she is by the way.
I’ve told myself, “Her ancestors didn’t own slaves and they played no part in Jim Crow.”
I’ve told myself, “She’s not like those other whites …”
But no amount of justification can possibly explain how or why I ended up falling for a white woman.
The uncomfortable truth is I’m falling in love … and it feels good. Maybe this is God’s way of trying to tell me something. Perhaps I need to change my views on race. I don’t know. What I do know is that I don’t want to let this woman go.
I like her … I like her a lot.