BL3: Tell us a little about the wedding you planned.
Ebony & Krys: Our wedding theme was going to be “Disney Princess/Fairytale.” We had all our tables picked out to be princess names and our table was to be named “Cinderella” (very fitting). We had put a lot of money into it. All dresses were purchased. All vendors picked and paid….
BL3: Your wedding was initially planned for April, but you got married in January. Why?
Krysta: Well, we jumped the gun and jumped the broom. On January 6, 2015 the State of Florida, after many stays and appeals, had to recognize same sex marriage. We wanted to be trailblazers. We decided at the last minute that we would go to the courthouse and get a license. My sister is a notary so we had her and my other sister on standby to perform the ceremony. We were one of the first in our county to be legally married! At that moment all that mattered was that she and I were there to declare our lives to another.
BL3: Tell us about a challenge you faced as a couple and how you got through it.
Krysta: We have faced many challenges with being together, from unaccepting family, dealing with an ex-partner with children, to learning how to live together. I think most same-sex couples can affirm that one of our greatest challenges is merging. Co-habiting presents challenges but surely when two women live together, it’s a challenge after challenge.
Ebony: I believe the biggest challenge we have had to face was me dealing with my family and causing that to interfere with our relationship. I am a people pleaser and was trying to please my family and Krys but it wasn’t working. They were not happy with my decision to be with a woman, to move in with her, nor to marry her. I was trying to make them happy and negotiate what they wanted, yet they were not being respectful of my relationship, which was not fair to me nor Krys. It put a major strain on us and almost caused us to not be together. I knew that I wanted to be with her more than anything and had to realize that everyone will not like or accept things about me, but I have to make decisions and choices based on what ultimately makes me happy. I knew that I could not imagine living life without her, without seeing her beautiful smile, without hearing her voice and so much more. I followed my heart.
Defining roles and expectations were key. Understanding what the other wanted and what compromises were acceptable was helpful. Praying and praying is the answer. Humility, respect, and open communication (again with praying) help us get through it all and will continue to help us get through it in the future.
BL3: Do you belong to a faith group? Are they affirming?
Ebony & Krys: We are Christians and are very spiritual beings. We believe in a God and Christ relationship as individuals. Like most people, we were raised in the church. We attend church. We can truly say that we are comfortable and have never felt disconnected from our church. It provides what we need spiritually.
BL3: Any tips for couples that want to have a successful relationship?
Krys: Be completely tactfully honest at all times about everything. Be compassionate and understanding. Show love as well as speak love. Be romantic. Find time to be youthful (we do Disney World more often than we should). Laugh with and at one another. Be vulnerable and respect the vulnerability. Don’t be afraid of forever because you could lose out terribly worrying about those things out of your control. Open yourselves to all the possibilities with one another and trust that limitations will merely LIMIT YOU!
Ebony: Remember why you fell in love! When things get bad or problems come up always remember why you fell in love. Be honest, upfront, and keep communication open. These are some of the important things I have learned and am still working on since we have been together. Have fun, keep each other smiling and always love!