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Why Holding in Your Feelings to “Protect” Your Partner is a bad Idea

Written by Cheril Clarke

Hurt feelings are a part of life. It will happen in every kind of relationship and sometimes there is just no way to avoid it if you’re committed to being honest. When it comes to intimate adult relationships we sometimes feel that withholding the truth or telling a white lie is better than saying something that will hurt our partner’s feelings. No one wants to hurt the person they love so this kind of thinking is understandable, but it is flawed and here’s why.

There is a deep reason that you want to get your feelings out (or they are being requested from your partner). Clearly, it is important to one or both of you. Even if the one who wants to hear the truth isn’t ready for it, there’s nothing worse than being lied to by the one person you’re supposed to be able to trust. That’s not how drama-free, long-lasting relationships are built. It’s also a recipe for having to talk about the same problem over and over again without coming to a resolution—because all the facts aren’t being disclosed!

Read more at CherilandMonica.com.


Image courtesy of MikeMogul.

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She loves black love and loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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  1. Avatar
    Chrys Minter

    Communication is the key… I can’t imagine how things would be if my wife and I didn’t talk about everything. Even times when I say I’m not going to tell her things because I don’t want her to be upset I end up talking to her about because if she were to find out second hand and it’s about me or could effect us in some way.. Uh yeah… Not good..
    So we made a decision years ago when we started dating.. Talk about everything!!!

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