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How do You Fall in Love With a Woman after Dating Men all Your Life?

Written by Sasha Thompson


I am 32 years old and up until May of 2015 I would have considered myself a straight woman. I do have to admit that I have always been able to appreciate women, and all of their gloriousness. I just would have never thought that I would find one that I could be myself with and I don’t mean the self that I was in previous relationships.


I mean the better version the confident me, the happier me, the traveling me, the comfortable with myself me. And I would have never thought that I would so effortlessly fall completely in love with a woman.


I Was Damaged, Then She Came Along

Falling in love with a woman was completely unexpected for Sasha.

When she and I met, the last relationship I was in was with my ex-husband and I was damaged! My ex and I had been together for about 13 years–all of my adult life. We had gone through a messy separation dealing with all of the insecurities he forced upon me, and YEARS of infidelity.


So I decided to take some time for me, to get Sasha back where she needs to be so that when the time was right I could offer myself to someone wholeheartedly. In my mind I was preparing myself for a man. I am a believer in Christ, and I believe that he had something unexpected in his plans.


In early May I met Shawnie. It was NOT supposed to be what it turned into, she was NOT supposed to come into my life like whirlwind and sweep me totally and completely off my feet. But she did.

She sent me a message, and it was so straight forward and blunt. She said something like “Look, I think you’re attractive. Take a look at my pic and let me know if you’re interested or not,” and I loved it!  It was so real and raw! The crazy thing is any other time I would have been like, Oh no! But she caught me off guard and was refreshing and real. For starters, she is amazingly beautiful to me. She has the sexiest lips in the world


That’s where it started, but once we did, we began to talk regularly. She was so intellectually stimulating. She was funny; we are both very into writing, she was kind and attentive. Even before we met face to face, I felt this intense attraction to everything that was her! I’m a true sapiosexual through and through! She not only stimulated my physical but also my mental.

It was NOT supposed to be what it turned into; she was NOT supposed to come into my life like a whirlwind and sweep me totally and completely off my feet. But she did.


God Prepared Me For My Destiny

She brought this completely different person out of me! What I thought I was preparing in myself for went straight out the window. She and I developed together with in our relationship. Every chance I get I thank the Lord for placing her so strategically in my life. Had she come any earlier I would have not been ready and I would have missed out on what I believe is my destiny!


I know there are a lot of gay women that despise dating a straight or bisexual women because they say they are wishy-washy and they are liable to revert back to a man. In some cases that is probably very true, but in some cases it couldn’t be farther from the truth.


I am a loyal person, sometimes to a fault and I can’t see me leaving or cheating because “I miss a man.” Please! To be brutally honest I do not miss men at all and I definitely do not miss “their touch” and or the “D.”


I Don’t Miss Men–At All

Sasha and Shawnie’s connection is too deep to worry about what others have to say.

The intimacy that she and I have is like NOTHING what I have ever experienced before.


We’ve been together two years and I’ve never been happier.


We are so connected on so many different emotional, physical, and spiritual levels that it’s orgasmic! She gives me so much pleasure that it excretes from my pores! Yes, it is that serious. She makes me a better person and I’m so thankful for her.


So just on a whim I created this little “how do you” video because shoot every one else was doing it. Also I’m so totally okay with who I am as an individual and who we are as a couple that I wanted the share it with the world!

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She loves black love and loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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  1. Avatar
    Sasha T

    First thank you so much Black Lesbian Love Lab for sharing my story! I really do appreciate it, and thank you all for reading and watching my journey! This is only the beginning of the S and S squad lol. I’v received some of the sweetest messages from the awesome group of ladies that follow this page!!! You all have no idea how that makes Shawnie and I feel right now!! So thanks again!
    We would love if you guys visited our Youtube channel!

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