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About Our Love

I Cheated on My Wife and Now We’re Stronger Than Ever

Written by Latoya Ellis

Amanda (left) and Latoya know that their love is worth fighting for.

Amanda (left) and Latoya know that their love is worth fighting for.

My wife, Amanda, and I have broken the rules from the very start. First, she was my boss when she approached me. Second, I was already in a relationship. Third, she wanted a commitment from the beginning. Fourth, although I cheated on her our marriage is stronger than ever.


In the eight years that we’ve been together, I’ve learned so much about real love from this amazing woman. I love everything about her. She has helped me to become a better person, and she has me looking forward to the future. She’s always been there for me since day one, no matter what. And she loves everything about me, from the way I look at her to the way I spoil her. There is just overall unconditional love between us.


I realized that I wanted to commit to her when I walked away from her for the first time. For two years I regretted leaving her.


When we got back together, it was because we knew we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. So we got married October 22, 2014.

Amanda and Latoya celebrate the one-year anniversary of their marriage this month.

Amanda and Latoya celebrate the one-year anniversary of their marriage this month.

Things were going great until I cheated at the beginning of the year. We were going through some things, and I was looking for attention.


Needless to say, I beat myself up about it a lot because I almost lost the love of my life. But I did not want to let my wife go and knew that to rebuild the trust between us would mean hard work.


Of course we argued. There was crying and yelling, but once things calmed down, we talked about what went on and why I was seeking that attention.


My Advice


My advice for couples that are tempted to cheat is, just don’t do it! You may think it’s okay to cheat for revenge but trust me when I tell you that it isn’t worth it!


If there are other lesbian couples reading this that are in the same situation as I was, keep the following in mind:


  1. Before you even think about doing it, ask yourself if cheating would help your relationship in any way. If the answer is that cheating would ruin your relationship, then don’t do it. Also put yourself in your partner’s shoes. How would you feel if you were cheated on?


  1. It’s hard to rebuild trust once it’s gone, but it’s not impossible. If you continue to show her that you love her and that you respect her and her feelings, then it will eventually come back.


  1. Most importantly communication is the key! If you can’t communicate with your partner about any and everything, then what’s the point? My wife taught that I needed to open up to her about things that concern me and that if I kept everything bottled up, we would get no where.


  1. Keep working on your relationship. The way I showed my wife that our love is worth fighting for is by showing and telling her everyday that I love her.


I want nothing more than to be with my wife! After doing the things that we needed to do to work on our marriage, we are now better than ever.



Latoya and Amanda live with their children in Austin, Texas.

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She loves black love and loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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  1. Avatar

    Extreme side eye.

  2. Avatar
    Javon Monet

    My eyes rolled so hard reading this ?

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