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Dating

I Never Thought About Dating Another Femme Until She Stepped To Me

Written by Frances Simpson

I never thought I'd find dating another feminine lesbian the least bit appealing.

I never thought I’d find dating another feminine lesbian the least bit appealing.

I’m 31 and had never done it before. I know it sounds strange to hear a lesbian say this, but I have never dated another feminine lesbian before. I’ve never even wanted to date one. But this woman was different.

When she asked me if I would be interested in dating her, I honestly didn’t know what to say. I needed some advice. Quick. And so I logged onto my Facebook page and threw the question out there: Have any femmes dated another femme? I was almost overwhelmed by the response the ladies in one group gave. The feminine ladies did not seem down for dating other feminine women. At all.

One particular woman said: “I have never dated a femme. I am always told that I do not know what I’m missing. I love me a sexxxxy stud especially mine! God forbid we do not make it, then dating a femme could be an option. Maybe.”

Another woman said:

You’re brave. I don’t do attitude and I have one. No thanks!”

Hmmm I wasn’t quite expecting this kind of response. My ex and I were together for seven years. She was a stud. I love that girly but boyish kind of feel that I get from a woman who knows she is a woman yet dresses with a masculine flavor. I love the baggy clothes and everything else about them. Plus, I like that they are able to bond better with my sons. What can I say? I love my studs! It’s been about a year and a half since we broke up. I really wanted to take the time to get over her.

Honestly, I never thought of dating another femme like myself before. Personally I think they tend to have a lot of attitude and I didn’t want to deal with it. Hell, I have an attitude and I’m a femme. Studs just seemed more laid back with less drama.

Femmes just never seemed like an option until a very nice young lady approached me recently. I just don’t know if she would be a better friend or if she would make a great mate. She seems nice and I am attracted to her. She is sweet and loving, a great mother and all around beautiful. I have known her for about four months now and this was the first time she had ever said anything to me. We were talking about me getting back out there and dating when she asked me if I would ever date a femme because she found me very attractive.

She said she would love to show me how it feels to be loved correctly! Lol.

Who could resist that? We haven’t gone on a date or anything yet, but I’m definitely giving it some serious thought. When you really get down to it, when we take our clothes off, we are all women. We might work out or we might not, but I don’t want to say I never gave it a shot!

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She loves black love and loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

Join the discussion

  1. Like You Really Care...

    All these ‘labels’ and restrictions we place on ourselves. And especially, the black lesbian community. I don’t get it. Ok, I get it a lil bit but I agree with the author, at the end of the day, we all have va-jay-jays and that’s what makes us lesbian, right? lol..

    • Black Lesbian Love Lab
      Black Lesbian Love Lab

      I agree the multiple labels In our community are a bit much, but I don’t think black lesbians are all that unique in that respect. Our entire society thrives on labels!

      • Ellen Hawley

        So true about society and labels. For me, being a lesbian was getting away from the labels as much as I could manage. God, that was freeing.

  2. Natasha

    I don’t follow labels and I honestly wish they were never created because again we’re all considered lesbians at the end of the day. I’ve been with a feminine woman for 12 years married for 2 and I am also feminine. I’ve never been attracted to masculine/boyish women. We all have a preference. Try it out if you don’t like it move towards what you’re most comfortable with.

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