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Health & Spirituality

Interview With A Married Black Lesbian Swinger

For one black lesbian couple, having an open marriage is about having trust.

For one black lesbian couple, having an open marriage is about having trust.

Nikki and Dee Brooks have been together for six years, married for three. When it comes to either of them having sex with outside partners, Nikki explains that the rules are simple: “All parties involved must get regular check ups and prove our results in written doctors reports. We never do anything at our home. We take turns paying for hotels. We must discuss everything with each other before making outside plans. In other words, get approval. No spending the night out.”

The Brookses may seem like a typical black lesbian couple, but their open marriage makes them a little bit unusual. We spoke to Nikki about how they opened their marriage.

Black Lesbian Love Lab (BL3): Tell us about yourselves.

Nikki: I’m 44 and my wife, Dee is 57. We live in Michigan. I’m Muslim and go to the mosque. Dee is not religious nor spiritual and doesn’t go to church. We both love sports and each other’s energy.
BL3: Have you been in open relationships before?

 

Nikki: I’ve never been a faithful type of person and I let people in the past know that I like to dip, so if you can hang, stay.

 

BL3: How did you broach the topic with Dee? Did you make it a condition of marriage?

Nikki: When I realized our sex drives were different, I sat her down and we agreed to be open. And no, this was not a condition of marriage.

 

BL3: Some people may wonder why you got married, if you wanted to have other sexual partners.

 

Nikki: I got married to her because she stole my heart and I wanted to be hers for life. What I do on the outside has no mental or emotional connection like I have with my wife.

 

BL3: But you don’t have to get married to be with someone for life.

Nikki: I don’t play house with nobody and she is my soul mate.

 

BL3: How long has it been since you opened up your marriage?

Nikki: It’s been open for two and a half years.

 

BL3: Does your wife ever engage with other women?
Nikki: We play together or with separate partners. Or we swing but that’s only a couple times a year.

BL3: What are some of the positives of having an open marriage?

Nikki: We have learned a lot about each other this way. It has opened up our communication skills 100%.

 

I can be me with not regrets, no consequences to face.

There aren’t any insecurities between us. Having an open marriage made us trust each other more, because there’s no sneaking and hiding of anything!

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She loves black love and loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

Join the discussion

  1. anonymous

    Bullsbit!!!

  2. Leah Glass

    I’m 50. And believe me I don’t share. But the article was an good one. I like the hat they were so open about there relationship.

  3. Leah Glass

    I’m 50. And believe me I don’t share. But the article was an good one. I like that they were so open about there relationship.

  4. MmmmHmmm

    Well to each their own ! but…married for three years, “open” marriage for 2.5 of those three years (Yikes), together for six….Nikki “has never been a faithful type person” (so it could be assumed Nikki was cheating all throughout their relationship, its just that after six months of marriage “they”,(Nikki) decide on this “open” arrangement deal,making it easier for Nikki).
    Significant difference in their ages, possibly contributing to their different sex drives..This is a dangerous game health-wise, std testing or not, they can be infected with different viruses that take months or years to show up (herpes,h.i.v.).

    Not worth it, might as well be single or with a partner whose sex drive better matches yours.

  5. Never would I Ever

    Nikki is the problem!! Where is Dee’s side of the story? Dee should run like hell and find someone who loves her enough to be committed to just her. Tf. I’d NEVER agree to allow my partner to do this!!!

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