You married her. Yay! You’re in love. Double yay! She’s your boo, your sweetie, your everything, your life! But those are just pet names. When you meet someone for the first time, how do you introduce them to your other half? For serious relationships, most lesbians just go with the term “partner.” But what do you call her when you’ve officially exchanged vows and become married?
For most studs it’s easy to call her femme partner, “wife.” But what about the women considered to be more masculine of center, dominant or studs? I loved Audrey and Gail’s video on Youtube. Clearly, Audrey who is more feminine, loves to call her more masculine partner, “wife,” while Gail calls her feminine beloved her “life partner.”
But not everyone likes the term “wife.” I’ve seen femmes call their wives, “hersband” or “studsband.” Or when it comes to weddings, some have also used the terms “bride and broom” or “Mr. and Mrs. Married Name.”
When Anna and Nakiema got married this summer, we shared their wedding photos. Ana, a femme, told me she called her beloved, “husband.” I was taken aback and asked her to explain.“I don’t actually look at it as a gendered term,” She said. “We don’t expect others to approve nor understand, but it works for us as a family. Nakiema doesn’t mind it at all … In public I refer to her as my ‘wife’ because it’s easier that way, but in our home she is my husband, and it is very comforting to me to know that I have a husband and a wife in one person.”