Joy and Toy are one of the most adorable black lesbian couples whose channel I follow almost religiously on YouTube. They are such a sweet couple and I love how much fun they seem to have with each other.
After watching their video about eloping in 2013 so that they could be together on base in Hawaii (see it below), I thought I would reach out to this couple and find out more about their relationship and special day.
Black Lesbian Love Lab (BL3): How did you first meet?
Toy: We met originally online in October 2010. We only chatted on the phone and few times and things sizzled out. As destiny would have it we pleasantly met again in March 2011 and decided to make things official.
Joy: I first officially met LaToya back in 2010 on an online social media site called DowneLink. Then again, in 2011 we ran into each at a party. I later found out that we actually crossed paths at a job interview … 7 degrees of separation I guess 🙂
BL3: When did you know you loved each other?
Toy: I knew that I felt something very distinctive about her very early on. We all have very different definitions and interpretations of what adoration is but honestly it wasn’t until after marriage that I saw how profound our love really ran.
Joy: I knew that I was in love when I couldn’t stop thinking about her. It was something about her that was so different and special…almost “fairy tale-ish”. She sparked in me a desire to change, which I wasn’t afraid to do for her.
BL3: What do you love about each other?
Toy: I love witnessing my wife’s spiritual journey. I enjoy her newfound look on life and its meaning. She inspires me like no other. I love everything single thing there is about her, minus her bad gas. lol
Joy: What I love about her is her beautiful imagination. She has a great, almost innocent way of looking at life, which a realistic person like myself can appreciate.
BL3: What made you decide to get married?
Toy: Joy proposed and I said, yes. Simple enough? Lol, no seriously we just knew the time was right. We were in a long distance relationship and just like any other relationship it was time for an evaluation. It was time for answers on where “this thing” was going. We knew we treasured each other, the distance could not go on endlessly, and the best resolution was marriage. And after being together for 2 years, we felt the time was right.
Joy: We decided to get married because we believed it was a bond that we already shared with one another. As a military member, we chose not to focus on “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” and the Defense of Marriage Act” and focused on what we truly wanted, which was to be together and happy.
BL3: I know you ladies had to get your marriage license in a hurry. Were there any friends and family at the courthouse? Was there any particular moment of that day that was special or memorable for you?
Toy: My cousin’s wife actually was there along with their son. She was not only our witness for the day but our photographer as well. The part of the day that was most exceptional was the feeling I sensed from within. When Joy looked at me and held my hand under the gazebo within our outside altar, I just knew it was right. That is a feeling that I will never have again and that is what makes it very special. It sealed the deal and from that point on. There was no looking back.
Joy: A hurry is an understatement! Lol. We were only expecting the military to approve a few days of leave to travel to a state that would marry us. Needless to say, there was not much time to plan the specifics so we were very grateful to have a family member in the area to escort us to the courthouse. She also served as our witness and photographer. The most memorable moment was just how peaceful the entire day was. Everything seemed to fall into place and although not extravagant, our wedding day was perfect.
BL3: Did you ever have a later ceremony with friends and family?
Toy: No, and that is not the immediate plan. When the time is right and the Universe places the idea in our hearts we may oblige at that time. Until then, I am completely pleased with our decision to do a mini ceremony. We did what meant the most to us. At the end of the day we are the only two people that matter most in our marriage. We witness the exquisiteness that unfolds within our matrimony every day, not just “the” day.
Joy: We contemplated a later ceremony with family and friends but then we realized that the moment would only be for them. We are happy with our union and are even happier to have outlets where we can share countless special moments with the world.
For those of you who may be interested in eloping, check out Joy and Toy’s tips below for eloping.