Written by Tiffany and LaToya Rose
Tiffany and LaToya Rose are a married, black lesbian couple who are living in Paris. You can follow LaToya on IG @Toyker.
This goes out to all of you insatiable wanderlusters, nomads at heart, and even those who dream to be.
PSA: Do not date stagnant people a.k.a non-travelers.If you dream of hiking Machu Picchu, camel riding in deserts of the UAE, snorkeling in Thailand, drunken dancing in the wee hours of the morning on the streets of Sevilla or waking up to an Indonesian sunrise, trust us, dating a non-traveler will NEVER work! We speak from experience. A number of years ago before I met my beautiful wife, I dated a woman who talked a BIG game about seeing the world, but it never came to fruition.
Timing Was Always an IssueHaving studied abroad, my wanderlust-crazed self would plan trips, and make itineraries for us to exotic locations. All for her to convince me that NOW wasn’t the time, or that there were more practical and pressing issues to handle before we went on a trip. I even suggested that we take a sabbatical and live abroad for a year then return stateside, but of course she was having not of that. Always patronizingly asking me “ What are you running from?”
Surprise, surprise , those trips never happened and neither did the rest of our relationship. Now I’m not saying that this issue was the singular cause of our break up, because it wasn’t. But me being the person I am, it was definitely a BIG issue.
I Met My Wife While Traveling
Years later while living as an expat in South Korea, I met my beautiful wife. She shared my insatiable wanderlust and love of foreign adventures. When I said where to next and she grabbed her passport, I knew she was the one.
We’re not saying a relationship between a traveler and a non-traveler is doomed but let’s be honest we all know that when your core values detour from each other’s, the relationship is headed towards a DEAD END.
A non-traveling mate will never understand your wanderlust. At times he/she may even mock and marginalize your traveling desires. Saying the tried and true “ When are you going to grow up and settle down?” “ You cant live like that forever.” “ What are you running from?” “ You should invest in something tangible, for example a house, a car … cable!”
A Plane Ticket Or a Night Out?
A non-traveler mate wont be able to rationalize your $600 ticket to Rome for your birthday instead of a new birthday outfit and a night of drinks at the new posh watering hole in your neighborhood. It’s one thing to be nervous about international travel and it’s a whole other thing to resign yourself against it.
Please beware of those ardent non-travelers, trust us, your nomadic heart will wither in their stagnant grasp.Trying to convince a Non-Traveler that the world outside their bubble isn’t the scary inhospitable black hole they thought it was, is like trying to persuade Kim Davis to officiate Raven Simone’s Big Gay wedding. It’s not happening! Now of course we are biased! We are travelers, through and through.
We are Not Travel Snobs!
But we’re not snobs or travel elitists. We understand that TRAVEL isn’t a PRIORITY for EVERYONE. Not everyone every gets a rush by booking tickets, earning passport stamps, and experiencing new adventures.
Start small, wet your toes. Begin with the Caribbean and South America. Once you’ve ventured out…drop a few more bread crumbs and head to Europe. When you get to Asia, give us a call!
Travel Teaches You So Much About Your Partner
You learn a lot about a person when you travel with them. Your attitude can turn an ordeal into an adventure. In our opinion there is no doubt, that traveling with your partner can help strengthen your bond. Whether you and your mate earn one stamp together or 84, we encourage everyone to step outside your comfort zones and see a bit of the world. It’s a truly amazing place. You may surprise yourselves. So here’s to LOVE and WANDERLUST. We wish you all, the BEST of BOTH!