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My Girlfriend Thinks Only Femmes Do Dishes

WakingUpLovelyLogoOne night after my partner and I finished dinner, I took our plates to the kitchen and began rinsing them for the dishwasher. As I approached the sink, I noticed a few dirty dishes from the night before. I politely asked, “Honey, do you have something against dishes lately?” She politely responded, “Naw, that ain’t my role.” Now, as the chills rolled down my spine and every episode of “Snapped” that I had ever watched went through my head, I thought:

This cannot be my honey. Not Miss “We are both women,” not Miss “I’m a woman too,” not Miss “We are equals and everything is split down the middle,” not Miss “Can you take out the trash?” Nope, not her.

So this sparked my curiosity, and I began to think and ask the questions, “What role do I play in my relationship and are the roles of the typical housewife acceptable in this 2014 lesbian world?” Please don’t get me wrong, I love catering to my woman. I love making her meals, rubbing her feet, folding her clothes and making our bed, however, I expect the same. I feel that if two people come into a relationship as equals, then the duties of the household should be distributed equally. For example:

  • We will both cook
  • We will both clean
  • We will both do laundry
  • We will both take out the trash? (I’m going to have to rethink that one.)

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She is a proud u-hauler who loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking for her awesome partner and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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