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Our First Valentine’s Day Together

Two-birds-Happy-Valentines-dayWritten by Z. Amara Perri

“Honey, do you care about Valentine’s Day at all?” It was January 22 when I sent my new girlfriend this text. We had just celebrated our four-month anniversary and still had so much to learn about each other. What we already knew was that we were not big on man-made holidays. (See my post on our Christmas non-celebration).

I wasn’t exactly surprised when she responded with this text: “Yes, I like it. I just don’t like dealing with crowded restaurants, theaters and the like. I’m actually looking forward to celebrating it with you.”

My honey and I are in many ways the same and in other ways exact opposites. She is a Pisces and is romantic and sentimental. Me? I’m a Libra and I’ve told her from day one that I’m not romantic and mushy. I’m practical and enjoy simplicity. I’m a get-things-done kind of woman. I’m just not fussy. I’ve always dated romantic women, but even so my last two Valentine’s Day experiences were painful.

I didn’t expect to be celebrating this Valentine’s Day with anyone. Dating my sweet Pisces has been such a beautiful, unexpected surprise. So, with Valentine’s Day coming up, I wanted to think and plan ahead. I knew I didn’t need a holiday to show her that I love her, but I wanted to do something.

At first I thought about planning an extravagant, chocolate-themed meal for my honey and a few close friends. Because she is so community-oriented, she supported the idea while gently reminding me that we needed to take some time to celebrate us. I soon let go of the idea of the community brunch and settled for a quiet day for just us two.

On the Tuesday night after we both got home from a long day at work, she surprised me and took me out to dinner at a restaurant we’ve been talking about going to since Christmas. It wasn’t a fancy restaurant. We didn’t dress up. We didn’t exchange gifts. Since it wasn’t Valentine’s Day, the restaurant wasn’t crowded and we were seated in a booth by the window.

We enjoyed a simple meal, topped it off with cheesecake, chatted, giggled, played footsies and gazed into each other’s eyes. Love was definitely in the air! It was the best Valentine’s date I’ve had in a long time!

I still wanted to do something special for her on the actual Valentine’s Day this Saturday. So keeping in mind that money is tight right now and we are not fussy people, I decided to keep things simple. She loves my cooking and so I thought I could continue with the same chocolate theme, but then I remembered that she does not really like chocolate. So I had to rethink the meals to match the things she loved. I sent her an evite and below is the menu that I have planned with all her favorite foods:

I sent her this evite for our breakfast in bed :)

I sent her this evite for our breakfast in bed 🙂

~Our Valentine’s Day Menu~

Breakfast in Bed

Pink pancakes

Eggs over easy

Grape juice


Heart-shaped cheese ravioli with pink sauce & mushrooms

A green salad with red onions

A Mini-apple pie

A glass or two of San Antonio sweet red wine


@The Treehouse with friends 🙂

Any couples celebrating their first Valentine’s Day together? Please tell us what your plans are in the comments below.

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She loves black love and loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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  1. Avatar
    Withlove, Tania

    It’s our first vday together. And I actually hate this holiday. I’ve never had a real adult vday so I’ve never been pressed. But I’m deathly sick but she made reservations and I intend to be there with bells on lol.

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