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Single Black Lesbians Talk Motherhood

Black mom illustrationEvery day I stand amazed at the beauty, strength and resilience of black women! I’m especially amazed at the black lesbians who are raising their children without partners either by choice or by circumstances. Today at Black Lesbian Love Lab, we want to send out a big Mother’s Day shout-out to the single black lesbians who are raising children they gave birth to, children they adopted, children they foster and those who are aunties to children of their siblings or friends. We also wanted to highlight some of those women’s stories below:

Staceyann Chin is probably one of the most well known single, black lesbian mothers today. Below is a video her and daughter, Zuri talking about the power of voting.

Preparing to Knock Herself Up

Ashley Targaryen is making plans to have a child on her own.

Ashley Targaryen is making plans to have a child on her own.

“While doing research on other people’s experiences with sperm donation I read in a book, Knock Yourself Up, that if you couldn’t afford to buy one vial of sperm per month and pay the doctor’s office fees for insemination, that you couldn’t afford a baby.

It gave me pause and made me wonder if I was too poor to have a kid. I wondered if I should wait. Then I realized that people who made less than me made it work so I probably could as well.

If I waited until I felt certain that I made enough money I might never have a child. I had already done the work of securing a support system of people willing to help me and researched what kind of social support services I could turn to if the need arose. It would have to be enough. The idea that if one didn’t have $800-900 of disposable income per month they shouldn’t have kids is classist as hell anyway so fuck that noise.”



I Swear I’d NEVER Bring any Children Into This World As a Single Parent

LezIntellect of Diary of a Black Lesbian

“I want children. That’s no secret. I am going on 30 years old this year and that clock is ticking. I swear I will NEVER bring any children into this world as a single parent. I do hope to one day meet the right woman and have children with her. That is the plan. In the meantime, I think I will busy myself looking for OUR sperm donor.
I can’t imagine this task will be hard. The world is full of men. The world is full of black men. The world is full of thirsty ass niggas, who don’t give a solid shit about their sperm. A lot of dudes out here just want to get a nut…damn the product that comes from it.
I’m just keeping it 100. I don’t think there is another race of man as emotionally nonchalant about their seed as African American men. So, I can honestly say I’m not sweating this task. I will say I want to be friends with this individual…if only for the sake of the kids who might want to get to know him one day.”

I have more than a lot of mothers have had

Kristi K of TheKWord says, “Okay so as many of my friends and family know, I want to have a little KK.  The

The many faces of Kristi K

The many faces of Kristi K

realization alone has been a scary one since for many years I said it would be me and Champagne (my puppy, not the libation) together forever. I said it so much I believed it… and then I didn’t. I guess it started when my grand nephews were born. They were beautiful and small and I was old enough to appreciate it. I wanted to protect them, educate them and foster their growth. And then I turned 30… and then 31… and… yeah older than 31.

I own my house. I have a profession. I have a large support system. I have a woman who wants to be my partner in this journey. ffe3c2937b32487b18472561ccca58b1I have more than a lot of mothers have had.”


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Article written by:

Zamara Perri

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She loves black love and loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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