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Celebrating Mother’s Day as a Stud

Ta'Sara got pregnant using a home insemination kit and gave birth to two healthy babies!

Ta’Sara got pregnant using a home insemination kit and gave birth to two healthy babies!

Being a parent is a tough job. When you add to it being a lesbian and then being a stud, it can make for some interesting comments from strangers. Ta’Sara, who lives in Tucson, Arizona, shared her story below: I’m a full-time, black, lesbian single parent to twin boys. When people see me with my kids, they give me the side eye alllllllll the time. They automatically assume I must be a “syke-a-dyke,” or that I slept with a dude just to get pregnant. But that comes with someone being uneducated or someone who has been hiding under a rock for the past 10 years. Lol.
I got pregnant through home insemination. Google it, folks.

I’ve always dreamed of being a parent with one boy and one girl so the brother can protect his sister. I ended up with twin boys!

Love and Marriage Didn’t Work for Me

I was married in 2013, but we separated when I was 13 weeks pregnant. I ended up dating a friend when my babies were three months old and that went south quickly. Now I have someone I am talking to who loves and cares for my boys more than I could ever ask for. If I were looking to date someone, I would look for a woman who is caring, independent, has goals and loves family. Also someone who can grow with me.
Ta'Sara says she and her sons are a package deal.

Ta’Sara says she and her sons are a package deal.

Any woman who wants to date me needs to understand, that there will be times when we cannot be alone or go out as much as we would like. I have responsibilities, and my children will always come first.
I want partner to accept the fact that we are a package deal, and she can’t have me without them.

I Love Being a Mom Because

twin black boys

Ta’Sara’s adorable twins at 2 years old.

Being a mother is a true blessing but it comes with hard times and a lot of tears. If anyone ever finds themselves in the same situation as myself, keep faith and remember that God would never give you more than you can handle. Still, I  love the fact that I’m raising people who will love me unconditionally, through all of my imperfections and vice versa. Them being black boys in this country makes me scared for their safety. My goal is to raise gentlemen–young men who respect themselves enough to have goals and accomplishments. It’s also great to know that I’m raising the next Michael Jordan, Barack Obama or even Bill Gates. My twins are two years old now. Some of my proudest mom moments so far, happened when my oldest twin started walking before his first birthday. He has hypertonia, which basically means he has too much muscle, so him walking was a big deal. I also super proud when my boys started to say their first words, and sing songs.

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  1. Avatar

    Thanks so much for sharing! I think it’s awesome when dominant lesbians carry despite all the stigma and side eyes. My wife and I are starting a family (through a friend donor and at home insemination) and she’s carrying first. She happens to be one of the most gorgeous women I know who wears “menswear.” She considers herself masculine of center and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  2. Avatar

    Man I’m going through this right now and can identify with this whole situation. It’s helpful to know it’s not just you out here going through this madness by yourself

  3. Avatar
    Wonna Meeks

    You guys are all so brave! Its tough enough just being a stud in society but to carry and raise babies is very courageous and amazing!!!

  4. Avatar

    Thank you all so much.. don’t be shy add me on fb to check in on my little family. Ta’Sara Rene Joiner.

    • Black Lesbian Love Lab
      Black Lesbian Love Lab

      Thank YOU for sharing your story TaSara! Best to you and your lovely family!

  5. Avatar

    This is so awesome. As a black lesbian stud mother, I can relate to this. Best of luck to you!

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