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WNBA Minnesota Lynx player Seimone Augustus & LaTaya Varner by Jana Dillon Photography
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The Truth About #RelationshipGoals

Written by Skye Jones

We love seeing pics of all you happy black lesbian couples on social media. It truly gives us so much joy. And it gives us hope that some day we can actually have a love like yours. But the truth is happy relationships are more than what you see on social media.

The truth is people want the cute pics like yours, but don’t want the understanding like yours…

the forgiveness like yours…

the support like yours. ..

the communication like yours…

the willingness to fight like yours…

the teamwork like yours.


They just want the cute pics and the ‪#‎relationshipgoals‬ without putting forth any effort.


They don’t want the struggle or hard work that it takes to build an empire. They just want it now without having to motivate or inspire.


They want it now without having to say, “Baby it’s okay you’ll get another job.” They just want it now, because they want to be spoiled. They want designer bags and expensive trips.


They want it now. Until you’ve had a hard day and then it’s “What the fuck is wrong with you?”


The want it now, but they can’t handle the rain. Their perception of “real love” is a fantasy love because it doesn’t exist.  

black lesbian couple wedding day all white

Relationship happiness is earned.


Relationship goals are rarely what we see on social media. It’s everything you’ll never see a real lady post.


That relationship goal is when her mate loses her job and she has to keep them above water.


That relationship goal is when the world gives her every reason to leave but she LOVES her mate and sees a champion in her so she’s going to build and support her mate to bring out the best in her.


That relationship goal is when she doesn’t tear her mate down.


The list goes on. And that relationship goal is when her mate does the same for her.


Black lesbians, stop making #relationshipgoals based on a picture on social media and focus on building up your own relationship.


Skye Jones is deeply in love with her wife, AJ, and wants black lesbians to know that real love is not hard or impossible when you’ve found your right match. Read Skye and AJ’s love story here

Featured image: WNBA Minnesota Lynx player Seimone Augustus & LaTaya Varner by Jana Dillon Photography

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She loves black love and loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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  1. Avatar
    shay p

    I like your ideas on Relationships . your views on what and how we should relate to our Lovers ! Society don’t seem to take us seriously as is, and in some cases (We) don’t respect our own relationship !

  2. Avatar

    You are so right about the relationship goals. So many are so caught up with how others make a lesbian relationship look and want to emulate what they see instead of loving and having each other’s back as you stated. Well stated Skye.

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