Celebrating black lesbian love and relationships!

Waking Up Luvly: The New “Tattoo”

WakingUpLovelyLogoI remember back in the day when the ultimate symbol of love was getting your girl’s name tattooed somewhere on your body. That showed her you were serious and that your love was real. But now there is a new way to express your love: Facebook.

imagesHow real is your love if it isn’t acknowledged on Facebook? Here is my deal, my partner does not put her personal business on Facebook, and when I say personal business, that includes me. Even her relationship status is null and void. Do I feel some kind of way about it? Yes, but I also understand.


Why I Feel Some Type of Way

One day I heard someone ask my partner, “Are you in a relationship?” She responded, “yes,” then her friend said, “No you’re not! It ain’t real unless it’s on Facebook.” When I heard that, I laughed because it was funny but, then after some thought, it seemed so true. The majority of my Facebook friends have several posts, pictures and status updates that show off their love. And sometimes I wish that my honey would do the same and share our love with the world. Shoot, show me off! It’s something that I have never had the pleasure of experiencing and actually never really think about until I log onto Facebook. I catch myself rolling my eyes at all the couple pictures. I’m not hating, just a little jealous.

Why I Understand

images-1Changing your relationship status on Facebook is like showing the world the successes and failures in your life. And who feels like hearing the oohs and ahhs about your status, anyway? Also my partner keeps our relationship off Facebook for professional reasons. It’s not that she isn’t out at work, but she uses her Facebook page as a networking tool and feels that her cohorts do not need to know all of her personal business.

I know the amount of love a person has for you does not equate to the number of posts they share about you on Facebook. But I wonder, does it mean their love is better than yours? I’m beginning to feel that relationship posts with couple selfies and corny quotes are becoming a competition. The “look how happy we are” status updates make me wonder if they are feeling just the opposite. My momma once told me that if a person brags about having sex all the time, they aren’t really having it, because a person who is having sex is not telling the world. So, could my momma’s theory apply to Facebook relationship posts too? Are all the happy pictures and all the “behind every good woman is another good woman” quotes really be legit? Are they really happy or just faking happy? Who knows but a little part of me wants it, a little part of me wants her to let the world know: “Look I am happy and my relationship is awesome” or at least get a tattoo! Lol.

But as always, please sound off and tell me your thoughts below.



Luvly Jones is the oldest of three, daughter of a Christian pastor and enjoys writing poetry and short stories. After dating a plethora of women, resulting in many life lessons she now shares her life with the woman she believes is “the one.” In this space she shares her journey of awareness, love, conflicts and getting through a relationship without getting arrested.

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She loves black love and loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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  1. Avatar
    Withlove, Tania

    This is so true. I am not one to post my personal business online (nor do I have Facebook) BUT, I will reference my gf, acknowledge I am involved, and I don’t mind a picture every now and again. I’m addicted to my social media but my personal ups and downs I don’t display. However, my gf is the complete opposite! She doesn’t really use social media, and when she does, it never references me.I hate it!She feels strongly that the people who need to know, know and her personal business isn’t for social media. And i get that. But, it would be nice,

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