Written by Renata J. Austin Hall
After my relationship of five years ended, I spent a year being single. I was getting to know myself. I started to do what I love again: styling hair, traveling, writing poetry, sketching, reading and embracing my family.
When I decided to date again, I signed up for an online dating service. I felt it was time for me to date and have fun. I was introducing my heart for the first time, so I wore it on my sleeve proudly. During my season of dating I encountered some craziness, but regardless of the situations, I remained optimistic and happy. Despite what I encountered, I knew God was protecting me, which kept me happy.
Now let me fast forward to October 11, the day I met Tysha online. When I read her profile, I saw that she was bisexual.
I immediately thought to myself, “This will be fun, because my quest was to be single and not sleep with anyone. So she would be perfect to build a friendship without benefits. I will not catch feelings for a bi woman.”
I reached out to her and said, “Hello, my fellow Leo.” She replied, “Hello.” And from that moment, we were in trouble.
We exchanged numbers, we texted and met up at a club. It was right in the middle of dancing with her that I knew! I had no reservations. I forgot she was bi. I forgot she was married with kids and was visibly separated. Love made me forget.
She didn’t know what I was feeling that night because I had to keep my cool. It was NOT love at first sight. It was love at first touch. Our energies collided. We melted into each other. We had pure chemistry. This was an attraction we could not avoid.
We tried to fight it; we even screamed it out. But, our love spoke way too loudly. This was when I realized that she was an enhancement to my smile. We carried out our love affair and, even during our struggle, I was still happy. This was when I knew I had something precious to give, which was myself.
Do not get me wrong; everything was not perfect. We had baby daddy drama, ex drama from both sides and we still did not walk away.
We also had some pain bodies. However, I named my body, my smile, my soul, my heart and my power, “ricochet,” because everything you shoot at me will bounce off. And I believe this is where our connection happened.
We believed we’re bulletproof, which made us want to protect our union even more. When I describe us, I see love. When I describe me, I see happiness. When I describe her, I see happiness.
We will survive as lovers, but most of all as friends.
Now is the moment of truth: Tysha is happily divorced and we are approaching two years as a couple. She is the enhancement to my happiness, but if she were to leave today or tomorrow, I will be sad. The sadness would be temporary because the happiness within me will last a lifetime.
This happiness I have is internal and this is a lifetime supply of eternal bliss. To wake up everyday is a gift and each time I open my eyes, I see the presence of God. He has granted me the opportunity to do what I love most, and I promised him I will live like yesterday never existed.