Written by Queenie Gordono
Kingston and Queenie Gordono work daily to keep their relationship strong!
I’m recovering … she is recovering … from a broken heart and from breaking hearts! So many people have this goal TO GET MARRIED. But the hardest part is STAYING MARRIED. When things go wrong, we easily remember the wrong doing but oh my how we forget what made us fall in love. Oh my how we forget the smile that captured us. We don’t realize that the smile no longer exists because we continue to hurt the other person. Oh my how we forget that we were once the “hurter” and not the recipient. I’m learning that in a marriage, the blessing is in the union. It’s in the RESPECT for “HOME.” It’s in how we communicate. How we understand the other person’s language of love. Everyone loves differently. We are learning that once you invite God, no, ALLOW GOD into the union, HE MUST REMAIN to hold it together. Prayer. Consistent prayer. Forgiveness. Understanding.
It’s very easy to walk away. To go seek greener pastures. To have a place you can run to when “home” is all messed up. But you will have to “water the grass” somewhere. Unless you cover your yard with the fake grass, you will always have to work on it to keep it looking nice. It will require work all year round! Keep the LIFE, The LOVE AND THE LAUGHTER IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Never stop romancing. Never stop dating. When financial woes kick in, trust God. When depression kicks in, trust God. When you feel like you both are changing, trust God that those changes are still for the betterment of the relationship.
You are still an individual. Know that all of the things that make you two different are the exact same things that make up the miracle of being together. In reality, fantasy love is a moment. You can have those moments. Real love is work and it’s LIFE. Learn your mate. Take the time to truly get to know one another. Trust me, diving in is cute. New love is cute. But it’s the old love I want. The love that has sustained itself through the hurt. The love that has survived the problems that are meant to tear you apart. I want to die old and gray and STILL IN LOVE.
Queenie Gordono and her wife, Kingston, live in Georgia. The two host an LGBT radio show (www.wer1lgbt.com).