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When She Looks at the Cute Girl at the Bar


The other night my partner and I went out for drinks with a friend of hers. As we were walking to the bar, I noticed a woman with a small waist; beautiful, exotic face; and big, voluptuous breasts. I knew right away that my woman was going to have “the long neck” and would be looking. It just so happened that we sat at a table right in front of this woman. I sat with my back to her, but my honey conveniently had the ultimate view. It seemed like every two seconds, my honey glanced past my shoulders. After about the fifth time, I wanted to grab her by the neck and sit her next to me and share a few choice words, but I remained calm and didn’t say anything.

are you cheating on me

Instead of getting upset with your girlfriend for not being blind to other beautiful women, first consider if you’re just being insecure.

My honey isn’t blind and I know when there is an attractive woman around, she is going to look, and I would do the same but I am never as obvious about it as she is. I know there are pretty women out there and I can run with the best of them. I also acknowledge pretty women. Hell, if you got it, you got it and I will be looking too, but I will not be disrespectful with it nor will I be obvious with it. I am the “oh, babe look” kinda girl. If I see something that is nice, I want my girl to see it too. I am also overly committed, so when it comes to looking at more aggressive women, I see no other but my boo.

However, that night the constant looking made me feel somewhat jealous. Why was she looking at this woman so much? Was I making it out to be more than what it actually was? Well, as it turned out, I was. Call me naïve but when I asked her about it, my honey told me she was thinking, “what the hell is she (the pretty woman) doing.” With my back to the woman, my honey was seeing everything that I wasn’t and it was just curiosity on her part.

So, I had to ask myself what led me to the conclusion that my partner was lusting over this woman? Simply put, just my insecurities. My partner is great at making me feel like I am the only woman she wants and needs, so the fact that I was feeling insecure is something within me.

Before You Go Off

I know every woman has her own opinion about the wandering eye and whether it is disrespectful. I say you can do it, just don’t be over the top and disrespectful with it. The most respectable thing to do is to keep your focus on your woman and if your woman is the one doing the looking, keep a couple of things in mind before you go off:

  1. Your insecurity levels
  2. The status of your relationship

If the ship is rocky, I say go off. But, if you’re good and you know at that moment your relationship is in your “forever status,” leave it be and remind your woman why she picked you.

Luvly Jones is the oldest of three, daughter of a Christian pastor and enjoys writing poetry and short stories. After dating a plethora of women, resulting in many life lessons she now shares her life with the woman she believes is “the one.” In this space she shares her journey of awareness, love, conflicts and getting through a relationship without getting arrested.

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Article written by:

Zamara Perri

Zamara Perri is the founder and editor of the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog. She loves black love and loves mangoes, cats, reading, cooking and writing about some of the challenges and joys of black lesbian relationships.

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